There's no straight road

Wish I could put into words the thoughts I've been feeling lately.
Its all a blur really.
Sadness and pain... Happiness and gratitude.

I'm lucky I have school.. I'm lucky I've been able to stay focused and I've been doing well there..
I'm sad because I'm still waiting and hoping for other things to come back.

Being back in school and forcing myself to never lose my way.. I've learnt a fair few things..
It's good that I'm trying my hardest to understand things.. To understand the circumstances.. It's hard but its a battle I fight every day.
Not to question god or life and why it all has to be like this.
Why can't it be simpler.. Or better.

I find comfort in sitting and having a beer or two.
I think about you. And what you're doing and what you're thinking.
Mostly what you're thinking.
How happy you are, or lonely.
I think about your life and my impact on it.. Whether I made one at all.
I made a mess of a good thing.
Therefore there's no one left to blame
I wish it were different.. Back then.
Could have done things very different.