what do you say to a year that you enjoyed half of?
how do you recall a saving grace before you go?
how do you show how you're feeling at the what-might-have-happened?
the events that will, because you could not adapt
pushed under the bus, but you were more than likely kicked.
you loved a time that has long since passed
it does not belong to you anymore
your head is down because you surrender
to the way things are now, different.
in so many ways, you cannot let go.
but at the moment, you want to with all of your heart.
they had no time to change their minds
you did nothing; you were nothing.
you were a warm body in a space that had enough of those.
you were talking to a white wall. black faces lined the corridors
the ones you are not welcome to anymore
it is no longer your home.
your heels will no longer click along those floors.
he came along and pushed you out.
slowly you lost your place when you thought you knew
you were safe. you were promised safety
calm from the storm.
they pushed you somewhere else
somewhere you did not belong
promises were made and broken;
first day out.
you looked for a rhythm you would never find
eventually, sooner rather than later you caved
and realized it would never work
no one listened and no one noticed the gaping hole
the place that your will to arrive used to be.
the heart to show up.
so you stopped.
be it right or wrong; necessary.
you need to be set free now.
they turned what was the best thing of the year
to the worst end.
you feel heavy. your arms weigh a ton each
your eyelids are cracking, they're going to break
you are exhausted of being exhausted
you need to be set free.
