Letters to me.

Dear past me,

There are so many things you are going to experience. Things you never in any bleeding universe would think you were capable of doing, you will do. You will experience love in forms you never thought existed, you will laugh until you think you are going to die. Life will throw you unimaginable curveballs and you are going to fall. and oh boy, will you fall. flat on your face. like youve never fallen before. like you probably will again.

You may not realize it, but you are far stronger than you think you are, or anyone really thinks you are.

You will fall in love with two boys who will shape the rest of the boys in your life. They will mould you and also create a mould for every romance you will have from then on.

One will love you with all of his heart. He will do everything you ask, and i mean everything. He will bend over backwards to make sure you are safe, happy. He is faithful. He doesnt lie, steal, or cheat. He will wait for you, he is so patient with you. He wont let go until you do.

You will.

The next, you will love with a burning passion. You will love him so strongly that he in turn, will try too hard to love you the same way. This will ruin everything.

You will love him so much that you think, this is the end for you. You will allow yourself to imagine marrying this man. Living with him and being happy forever. This is not Cinderella, wake up.

You wont.

You are going to let him treat you like you owe him a living.

You will let it continue because you love him too much to even give up when all it does will hurt you.

You will spend too many nights crying over something that was lost a long time ago, something you could never have saved. something you didnt mean to lose ever.

You will blame yourself. for being cheated on. for not being able to keep him happy and in love. with you. You will let yourself try to make it better. Too many times than needed.

He will hurt you. He will shame you. He will not respect you. He will not be faithful to you.

But you will love him, oh my god will you love him.

like, if there was love book there would be a photo of you there, smiling like an idiot. he'll be there too, frowning and showing a peace sign on the top of your head.

By no fault of his own, he will not take your love half as seriously as you do.

It will end. for real, many times.

and then it really will.

There are so many things i wish i could tell you that will prepare you in any way for the things to come. You are going to be so happy, and so.. not. they'll come out of nowhere. and they'll come straight for you.

think of the meaning of this cliche cause it is all you will rely on to get up and run again.

This Too Shall Pass.

future you.