To Better Days

Dear God,

This year so far has been a flurry of ups and downs. Sometimes i wonder actually, if you know what you're doing when it comes to all us fools down here. We ask for so much, dont we? Somehow it never seems enough and for this, i apologize. I have been such a mess and out of sorts on any given day that i probably really confuse you a great deal most days.

I want to explain see, I tend to look at things differently depending on the way i feel in the first two minutes of my day. Or in the middle of the start and end, the people i meet along the way. The things they say.. do..

I'm not very different from everybody else.

I dont have much to offer and the things that i do, most of the time probably never seems worth all the things i ask for. I dont make promises like that I will pray more often, or come to church every single day.

I mean.. really, i cant expect you to come visit me in my home every day if i dont visit yours, innit? So i dont overexpect from you really. Sometimes i just wanna ask for a better day.

Also, i really really wish i could meet you for a teh katai one day. I dont think I'd ask too many questions. Just enough to make you turn blue in the face.. hee.

But really, I apologize for never knowing the right decisions to make, or knowing them but being too scared to follow through. I know sometimes you practically scream instructions in my ear.. I apologize for never knowing when you really REALLY need me to listen.

For this, i know is the reason for every single time i've found myself lying in bed helpess as a lamb.

Love you.

Tessa